The Ego Bastard

If everyone read lipstick chronicles, or have heard of the recent ongoing craze about EGO, you would not have been surprised about the title. According to someone who declines to be named, or BS(even though I don’t think he was trying to sign off there), I belong to a species of the human race known as an ego bastard. Yes, to all those who were wondering the use of the word “ego” as an adjective in this particular case, you are certainly not alone. A lot of us wondered about it as well. But as I have learnt in a lot of my English modules, the emergence of the phenomenon known as New Englishes that have emerged as a result of different languages being in contact with one another, has meant that the grammar or the rules of Standard British English, or Standard American English, might not hold as strongly in these New Englishes. So maybe, this “anonymous” person might ascribe to a New English where the grammar says two nouns can be placed side by side. We never know.

Nevertheless, following the motto of Carlos, “don’t judge the content, but the intent”, I have assumed that he or she meant to call me an egoistical bastard of jerk. The interesting thing to note here is to observe the reason that instigated the outcry of such a “compliment”. Miss Lipstick wrote a blog entry about her opinions about another friend of mine however somehow in all that verboseness, anonymous figured that I was the one she was referring to and that prompted him to start the comment that kicked off a truly interesting discussion on her blog.

In all fairness, I have to admit that I have made many enemies all my life, due to reasons that are sometimes circumstantial and therefore unavoidable, but also sometimes a result of my own actions or behaviour. So I suppose they all have their own individual rights to call me names or react unkindly. The thing that I really want to know, is exactly who these people are, such that I would be able to understand their grievances and comprehend the reasons for their hatred, so that I would be able to reflect upon these things that I might have done, and allow myself to progress further into this whole pursuit of being a better person. I know it sounds lame but these are my most sincere and honest intentions. However, I know its impossible especially in the whole internet world where people will choose to remain anonymous. But how will I ever be able to reflect if I myself am not aware of my so-called “ incorrigible acts” or the people I behaved in such a way to?

I have been told though to be more sensitive in my actions to the people around me. According to my friends, there have been many incidences where I was insensitive in my actions to the way people might have thought or felt and that could have triggered them to feel they way they feel about me. Also, it seems that sometimes I am aware of my own wrong doings but I choose to push aside my guilt. Maybe that’s true, maybe it isn’t. Whatever it is, I take my friends opinions seriously, so I should listen and act upon these suggestions.

Speaking of which, I would like to thank all my mates, who had my back during these trying times. I feel truly blessed to have comrades like all of you. Mark my words, when the time comes, I will have your back too.

I am feeling sleepy. The long weekend is over and I totally wasted it, cos I spent most of it doing everything else but school work. So I reckon its going to be another busy couple of days when tomorrow comes. Wish me luck mates.

Out
The Ego Bastard
(Maybe i should change my profile now to put this in)