Over protective
One of the Nu quest programmes that I conducted during my leave of absence from the blogger’s fraternity, was a team bonding retreat for staff of North East Community Development Council and if you had religiously been following The Peak, you would have known that my ex and her current boyfriend were both staff of this government organization. So with that in mind, I went about the 17th march, as any other normal programme I have conducted. Smiling to everyone and introducing myself to my clients, at the same time cracking jokes and making small talk to break the ice. Basically the same PR stuff PD's do when trying to satisfy a client’s needs. Everything started out fine and when I met my ex, I had to give the nudge of acknowledgment. In fact it wasn’t much of a nudge, more of the sound you make when you try to clear your throat as she passed by. But I really don’t see how that could ever be wrong. Anyway, things went really great because honestly the staff were extremely enthusiastic about the activities and they had great attitudes coming into this retreat. So all this made it even better for me since they seemed to be very receptive to the things I had to say and were laughing at all my jokes. For a moment there, I was wondering if they were just pretending to be enjoying it or was I really that good. There were also a lot of familiar faces other than her of course, so all in all, everything was going just fine.
But when everything was over, me and my ex had a conversation. The reason being, along the way she kind of stopped participating and was sitting by the side just spectating. And when I asked her about it, she said she was not feeling well and tired. I didn’t read too much into that cos I have always known her to not be that rugged and someone who gets tired easily. Furthermore, the heat was getting to everyone then. So I called her up asking if she was feeling ok, being the concerned friend that i always am. That was when she broke the news about her not being ok. Apparently they just got into a huge fight about me. I was shocked. Other than a few short conversations that was done cos it came under my job scope as programme director, I hardly spoke to the lady. What was even more shocking was the fact that the guy could have known it was me. And when I asked her how did he know I was the one, she made me realize how small the world can be. Apparently, this fella used to give my younger brother tuition during his O’levels and he kind of knows my parents and had once come to my house for hari raya. What’s even funnier is how immature he could get despite being in his mid 30s, when he actually contemplated coming to my house to give me a piece of his mind.
This is the thing I don’t get about protective other halves. Don’t get me wrong. I understand the need to be wary about the activities and the going ons of your other halves but some boyfriends and girlfriends are just being over protective of their partners. The person has friends that she might have known way before she knows you, so just because you are in her life right now, you cant expect her to give it all up. Same thing goes for guys with girlfriends who cannot stand being around the “boys” and expect their boyfriends to feel the same way. I know that the line boundaries are not as clearly defined when it comes to ex boyfriends or ex girlfriends but I am a firm believer of the fact that everyone is free to do whatever he or she wishes to do. What I mean is that, whatever the case might be, ultimately she is a free person that has the liberty to make her own decisions. Just because one is emotionally contracted to someone, it doesnt mean that you own that person, especially when in most cases, the both of them are not married to one another. I am not saying that you don’t have the right to be jealous or feel edgy at the thought of him or her communicating with the ex, but going to the extent of preventing him or her from being friends is absolutely ridiculous. A relationship is supposed to be based on trust, where you should be able to trust your partner to be able to do the right thing and make the right decisions. You can allay your fears, your feelings and your reasonable expectations, but ultimately its up to the individual to do what he or she thinks is right without of course, any breach of trust. In this case,( my ex and her bf), it really is a case of not being able to distinguish between being concerned or jealous, and being immaturely over protective and insecure.
They are having a major crisis right now and my ex have told me never to contact her until she looks for me. Which I think is really sad, considering we were quite close up till now. Whats worse, based on recent events, It seems I have a knack for ruining my friends’ lives…. Well what can I say?
I have to go to Tampines for an Islamic Awareness Carnival NUSMS is organizing. Then ill be back to finish up the tonnes of work I need to finish. Maybe ill blog again later about another comrade’s life that I might have wreaked.
Out.
But when everything was over, me and my ex had a conversation. The reason being, along the way she kind of stopped participating and was sitting by the side just spectating. And when I asked her about it, she said she was not feeling well and tired. I didn’t read too much into that cos I have always known her to not be that rugged and someone who gets tired easily. Furthermore, the heat was getting to everyone then. So I called her up asking if she was feeling ok, being the concerned friend that i always am. That was when she broke the news about her not being ok. Apparently they just got into a huge fight about me. I was shocked. Other than a few short conversations that was done cos it came under my job scope as programme director, I hardly spoke to the lady. What was even more shocking was the fact that the guy could have known it was me. And when I asked her how did he know I was the one, she made me realize how small the world can be. Apparently, this fella used to give my younger brother tuition during his O’levels and he kind of knows my parents and had once come to my house for hari raya. What’s even funnier is how immature he could get despite being in his mid 30s, when he actually contemplated coming to my house to give me a piece of his mind.
This is the thing I don’t get about protective other halves. Don’t get me wrong. I understand the need to be wary about the activities and the going ons of your other halves but some boyfriends and girlfriends are just being over protective of their partners. The person has friends that she might have known way before she knows you, so just because you are in her life right now, you cant expect her to give it all up. Same thing goes for guys with girlfriends who cannot stand being around the “boys” and expect their boyfriends to feel the same way. I know that the line boundaries are not as clearly defined when it comes to ex boyfriends or ex girlfriends but I am a firm believer of the fact that everyone is free to do whatever he or she wishes to do. What I mean is that, whatever the case might be, ultimately she is a free person that has the liberty to make her own decisions. Just because one is emotionally contracted to someone, it doesnt mean that you own that person, especially when in most cases, the both of them are not married to one another. I am not saying that you don’t have the right to be jealous or feel edgy at the thought of him or her communicating with the ex, but going to the extent of preventing him or her from being friends is absolutely ridiculous. A relationship is supposed to be based on trust, where you should be able to trust your partner to be able to do the right thing and make the right decisions. You can allay your fears, your feelings and your reasonable expectations, but ultimately its up to the individual to do what he or she thinks is right without of course, any breach of trust. In this case,( my ex and her bf), it really is a case of not being able to distinguish between being concerned or jealous, and being immaturely over protective and insecure.
They are having a major crisis right now and my ex have told me never to contact her until she looks for me. Which I think is really sad, considering we were quite close up till now. Whats worse, based on recent events, It seems I have a knack for ruining my friends’ lives…. Well what can I say?
I have to go to Tampines for an Islamic Awareness Carnival NUSMS is organizing. Then ill be back to finish up the tonnes of work I need to finish. Maybe ill blog again later about another comrade’s life that I might have wreaked.
Out.
posted by Superhero at 10:15 PM
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