Blind Loyalty

I havent blogged for a while, and i must say even if i do, it hasnt been that regular. My excuse this time would be that I just came back from a camp I conducted for NorthBrooks Secondary. This time round however, was not as enriching and satisfying as the last camps i facilitated. In fact, I would have to say that by far, this has been the most disappointing camp I have done. Let me tell you why.

Some preliminary info before I get to the cause of my disappointment. The camp was created for the "cream of the crop " of this school which is situated in Yishun. And by using such an adjective, I was being very sarcastic. These are students who have been preselected by their teachers and principal because of their notoriorety and their inabilty to focus(according to the student profiles submitted to us). Honestly "Lack Focus" doesnt even begin to describe the nonsense these kids have gotten themselves involved in. Gang Involvement, Stealing, Gang RObbery, Fighting, Defiance and Truancy are some milder examples.There even was a student who punched his teacher. The school administration have run out of options and decided that getting the students to go through self-motivation and realization modules could do them some good. Some of their parents even said " Teacher, you do what you want la with my son, I cannot be bothered anymore." I wasnt trying to asses this Father;s parenting abilities, but more of helping you to understand the plight I was about to be subjected to. And honestly, giving up was something I really considered when I was with them for the past 2 days.

I hav conducted camps for "Youths at Risk" before and I was mentally prepared for it this time. In fact, in terms of profile, their background was far worse than these students, for they came from juvenile centres and prison for various reasons. I found it better then, to come in with an open mind and not judge them before even talking or meeting them. I believed that, having a preconceived inpression about these boys would narrow my facilitation and cause an undesired effect on them. This time however, stereotyping them could have helped. These were really horrible kids who had no respect for authority whatsoever. We got a taste of it when we witnessed a converstion they had with their teacher, where you could hear words like "ahhhh...teacher you shut up la....". I never received such comments from them throughout my time with them but I was really taken aback by their manners. Lack of courtesy was not their only flaw. They were a bunch of unmotivated, unenthusiastic and ill informed individuals who have a misguided passion for the wrong things in life. I suppose that was why we were called in the first place. At this point I must qualify that I was disappointed not because of the state of these kids. I was disappointed because I felt that for the first time, I dont think I have delivered what I was paid to deliver. The expectations here was not to make these kids change overnight, or even changeat all. In fact we were supposed to come in just to increase an awareness of choices and options, and their consequences amongst these kids.It started out very well, especially with my group. I was beginning to think that these kids were actually judged wrongly. The turning point came about when everyone congrgated together and a racial divide started to occur, and this racial divide is, to me, the main cause of our having the difficulty to reach them. As you would have guessed, the divide was amongst the chinese and the Malays, who we called Geylang United.

I am now very convinced that if there was any racist impressions in Singapore, it must have been propogated by the inferiority complex of the Minority Malays and not the Majorty race. This is judging from the attitude of the Malay students I had in my camp. Everything seemed to be cnnected to their point that The Chinese were thinking of themselves without sparing a thought for them. It was so bad that they refused to eat with their hands tied together because they didnt want to be treated like dogs. Tying their hands was for them to enjoy eating together within their groups to improve group solidarity but somehow the Malay boys could not see it. It was fine until one of these boys decided to leave and the rest of the Malays followed suit, despite the fact that they were very hungry. What you say "Blind Loyalty."

This stupid sense of "camaraderie" amongst them further disrupted the camp when they threatened to leave. Can you imagine how immature and stupid these Malay boys were thinking they could leave Pulau Ubin without us? Whatever it was, the environment and setting was too hostile and uncomfortable and it affected their reception on the rest of the programme lessons, which is why I was disappointed. We were paid to deliver a programme that could help but I dont think I did. Coupled with how disappointed I was with these Malay boys, it was a really disappointing camp.

I am actually back at home feeling extremely sleepy. Since I have to be up early tomorrow to go for tuition, I think I shall tuck in and sleep away all these worries I have for the future of these boys.

Azuan Out