$2...

That is the amount of money i have been surviving on for the past week...if I am not wrong. In fact actually I had 10 bucks, but either the money was stolen or it was taken from me, both cases i dont know about it and the root of the matter is that I just have 2 dollars only. I suppose it is extremely pathetic of me but I am quite proud of myself for having survived thie ordeal. Not proud of the fact that i am disgustingly broke, but the amount of effort I have taken to live through is pretty amazing, even for me. How did i get to this state? I am not an excessive spendthrift, cos i dont really spend on myself. I have no new clothes, new shoes or new things. I havent bought any high tech gadgets or new handphones recently although i would kill for a digi cam right now. I think the cause of my bankruptcy is basically the bills that i have to pay every single month. These bills will include the long list of things that I have to pay that is associated with my car. There is the monthly installment, the exhorbitant petrol costs, and the fines. Speaking of which, somehow a hidden "mobile" speed camera caught a photo of me doing a 70 on a 50 km/h road along Tampines Ave 1. Not only have I just been awarded 8 demerit points, I was actually told that I might have to pay over 200 dollars worth of fines. Sigh... Then there is also a $30 dollar fine for parking at the National Stadium while queing for tickets. It is during these times that God is trying to tell me something. That maybe I am not destined to own a vehicle now or that i shouldnt be owning a vehicle at all. This happened when I had the bike and it seems to be happening all over again with the car. But i really think I need it. Firstly, i wouldnt have these many job assignments and tuition assignments if I didnt have the car. And I really wouldnt want to disappoint the people at home. I am not saying that they would not be ok if we sold it, but i just dont want to not-finish what i initiated. More so for my siblings.

I am running late so ill just leave with this note. I realize I am living a facade which I cant get out of. But thats anther issue altogether. See Ya.
Azuan Out.