Filial Piety

I think I was rude. And I don’t appreciate my folks enough. But I really don’t mean to be that way. Whenever she talks in that way, I get extremely defensive because I think she is accusing me of something I am not, or someone I really don’t wish to be. But she was right. I was being overtly sensitive and I did apologize to her in the end. She was still my mother, the woman I cannot live without. I need to get that into my thick skull and hope it resurfaces everytime I think about saying anything mean to her. She says I do it to my dad as well. But honestly, my defence is really just that I want them to get straight to the point when asking me anything and not beat about the bush before seeking the answer they actually want. But I have to stop this. This argument has made me realize that I need to be nicer to them. The fact that I treat everyone else the same way is not valid here because they really are “blood.” There is no running away from it and they have been there always. Just because I am adult now and am earning my own living , it does not mean that I am king of the world. I owe them too much to be like this and I am never going to be able to repay that. Not even when they pass on. I cant even bear to think about that. I will just die. I cannot live without them. I cant bear to lose them. Sigh. I am so not filial. Sorry Ma. Sorry Pa. I love You!

School Beckons

Whether I am ready for it or not, my life as teacher has officially begun. It didn’t really sink in last Monday when I reported to school for the first time after Practicum, but today when I received my official timetable, I am getting a little worried. I just realized that I have so many things to do and so little time. How I wish I didn’t waste all the free time I had during our NIE induction days. But then again even if I realized it then, I would still have put off doing anything till now. Procrastination is really evil.

Other than the countless amount of things I have to prepare for when it comes to school, I am actually very excited to start school. I finally am a full fledged teacher, a perm staff in the school. No more second class trainee teacher. I have a form class that is underperforming but has got lots of potential so I cant wait to inspire them to reach that potential. I have a sec 1 express English class that I am able to start afresh with. I have two technical classes that I cant wait to get my hands on. And various PE classes that I can finally implement all my ideas on.

My colleagues also seem very promising. Maybe it’s the first day since the holidays and everyone seems to be in a more relaxed state than when I last saw them. My HOD seems to have a lot more vigour and gusto, and ready to accept new ideas and embark upon them. My principal and vice principal seem more approachable, but I still don’t know how I am going to convince them about my soccer programme. And my fellow beginning teachers, TF, CL and WN are really cool, not forgetting hot. They are all girls, dont worry. He he.... Its just a nice feeling knowing that we are all like minded and we can get along very well.We might even be going diving soon. Yeah!!! I just hope this isn’t short lived.

Ok, I have to go now. I have been so busy I forgot about this dinner engagement I made. If my friends find out, I have been blogging instead of doing my work or getting my ass out of the house, they will scream. At least one of them will.

Excited