Bad Times

These are really not the best of times for me. I have lost half of my post graduation plan savings to paying for car damages I inflicted on a BMW Z4. Everyone else have received their appointment briefing letters confirming their entry in the 20th June NIE course. Everyone else but me. I have been ill since Thursday and I don’t seem to be getting any better, which really doesn’t help because it foils my work out plans. As it is I skipped workout on Thursday and the only physical thing I did yesterday was to go climbing. To make things worse I think I ate a whole pizza yesterday at my friend’s birthday party. Mendaki tuition ended yesterday for the month of May meaning my June pay will not be enough. What else can go wrong?

I have to go for my cousin’s wedding now, and it isn’t a very good thing(although there might be some hot girls), because I will be at the helm of all my relatives asking “SO your turn when?” when I myself don’t even think about it, since there isn’t anyone to marry yet. Then it would get me to start thinking about who I willend up marrying and how would it be and stuff, before at the end of the day I will start sulking to myself in resignation that I am never gonna get married.

Old Photos

As I have mentioned in my previous posts, there really isnt much for me to write about other than the same working out activities I have been indulging in and I am pretty sure people are tired of reading all about that. So I have decided to post some old photos that have been lying in my lap top for quite some time. At the beginning it might look like its a tribute to myself, but trust me it gets better as you scroll down.


Trying to work the crowd but to no avail 


Blur 


Trying to act cute 


Didnt have the time to memorize lyrics 


Putting in a lot of effort to reach a high note 


Carlos and Fictionaire of The Great Spy Experiment 


thorn amonst the roses; friends i made while studying for exams 


from left, Juzailah, Nini and Arin 


Thats Cassim, my friend since secondary school, oh and I was trying to shift away from my "posing template" 


I have no idea what we were trying to achieve, Can You see my battle scar? 


Cassim thought he was strong.....I think the stress got to him 


Introducing Zam fellas, we were at the roof of the house we stayed in while we were in Ooty , India 

Thats it for now. Its raining again and the weather is making me feeli like sleeping, AGAIN!!!. Thats all I do nowadays. Good night folks.

Matan Out

Bored!!!!

I am bored to death. You know how much you long for the end of exams but when you get there, you end up feeling bored because you have nothing to do. Well that is exactly how I am feeling. Plus the fact that no one seems to want to go out or go places where I wanna go.

Its Mother’s Day but we didn’t do anything at all today. I am sure my friends would be surprised knowing this since they think I am Mama’s Boy. Its just that my sister is having exams starting from tomorrow so she didn’t want to go out. I wanted to buy dinner but she already started preparing for dinner before I could say anything and she prefers to cook anyway.

I spent my first Saturday since the end of my graduating examinations working the whole day. I came back late the night before from Phuture, and I had barely 3 hours of sleep before I was off to Woodlands for tuition. We went through their mid year paper and I felt really good at the end because it seemed my students were very receptive to the lesson. I thought that they felt they benefited from coming to tuition since their school mid year exams start this week. Then I immediately rushed to sentosa for another Nu quest programme. It was a team building session for staff of Samsung International Singapore. But work for me ended late because there was another programme the next day and I had to pass the props to my boss in Jurong cos he was leading that programme. So by the time I reached home it was close to 10 and I still haven’t caught up on my sleep. I took a bath and I told myself that I would meet my friends later that night after a nap, but I didn’t wake up till 5 in the morning. My apologies to Carlos and Fictionaire for having missed your gig.

I am rattling on and on about how boring my weekend went. I should stop. But what am I going to do? I want to watch dvds but my parents are watching a Hindustani movie on Central. And if I do watch a dvd ill end up eating something unhealthy while watching. I should just read and then hopefully Ill fall asleep.

The loneliness is starting to creep in now. I am 24 year old male, tall, slightly dark and …. Anyone interested?

Matan Out

Yeah!!!!

Its finally over. I finally took my graduation paper just now, and although it didn’t go as well as I expected, I am just glad that its finally over. There are a lot of things that I have to do though, like making full use of the free time I have on my hands to earn a lot more money, stepping up on my workout and dieting programme, and maybe clean my room. And now that the exams are over, I have no more excuse in procrastinating my breaking the news. I hope they will understand.

When I entered my room after returning home today, I was utterly disgusted at how messy, disorganized and not to mention dirty it is. Somehow amidst all the hustle and bustle during exams, either I was too tired and caught up to notice the state it was in, or somehow my mind chose to ignore it because there were other more pertinent issues that required my attention than a filthy room. But, it was really disgusting. Notes and books everywhere, old bags, files on top of my table top. In fact if not for the drawers below, I would think that my cabinet was missing amongst all the nonsense on my table. So I spent ah hour packing my room and clearing all the unnecessary stuff, like official letters and advertisements dated ages ago, and receipts that I had no idea what I kept for. There were compact discs that have turned really mouldy and Malaysian coins splattered all over the floor. I arranged everything and I am glad it looks much better now, although I am still having a hard time deciding what I was gonna do with all my old lecture notes, a collection from my first semester in university. Maybe I should just keep them, so as not to jinx it. I could not do well and I might have to repeat another semester. But there is too much of it and its taking way too much space in my room. I haven’t even got started on the mess in my cabinet drawers and the built in cupboards where I keep my clothes. I think that would take an entire day.

Sorry yes, it’s a boring entry but seriously this is how I like it, so I am not going to change anything. For a more interesting read, go visit ADSH. That’s what he is called nowadays, at least in the blogging fraternity that is. From there, you can tell, that he is not just a pretty face.

After the exams, other than having to run a few errands, I aimed to run the 10, do the gym and swim 1.5 kilometers but I couldn’t complete the latter because of the rain. I only managed to complete the run because by the time I got back to the east, the rain stopped, so thank God for that.

My day of liberation ended with the much awaited return to simpang with friends I have sorely missed. After so long, the atmosphere was really great. Correction, its not the atmosphere, it’s the company.

Out

Secret

I am gonna make it a point to start or end my day with this daily ritual of self appreciation or loathing coupled with a tinge of internal reflection. At least that’s what I tell everyone when asked by my friends as to why do I have a blog. And I must say I have stayed very true to the cause at least up till now. There have been quite a few issues where I had to hold myself back since I started blogging but generally things have been quite transparent.

However things have come to my life recently that have made me realize that no matter how I hard I try, I will never be able to make my life completely transparent because there are bound to be secrets that everyone has to keep.

One of the reasons I started blogging was because I got into a lot of shit keeping a lot of things to myself and living horrible lies and I figured with an online journal that was dedicated towards my daily rantings about the issues about my life, I would be more conscious of the consequences that I would suffer should I engage in any implicating activities. And generally I have succeeded other than that one moment that cost me a friend, but trust me I did have noble intentions in keeping it from him. I swear. But the point is that I feel a lot better being more open and upfront about everything where I didn’t have to hide anything and my life was an open book.

But today, it has dawned upon me that sometimes secrets are not kept because of its potential to implicate the individual keeping the secret. In fact, many a time major secrets are kept because of its potential to implicate a lot of people, especially people close to your heart.

And it is under this motivation to protect these people that I am going to have to keep another secret, to do something that I have been trying to avoid for a very long time, but it has come to a point where honouring the trust bestowed upon me will be the most important thing I do here.

I realize by blogging about it, its not going to make it any easier for myself or anyone to understand, but it is after all my personal blog and it really makes me feel better to write at least something about it. Friends, all that I am asking for is your understanding, and for you to not ask me anything about it. As I have mentioned, this is something I really have to do.

Oh yes if anyone was waiting to find out what I did yesterday, well I didn’t even exercise at all. I had to return the Fit earlier than usual and my afternoon study wasn’t productive, so I made a choice to not work out and pay more attention to my Money and Banking notes. However, this morning I went for a 10 klik run before I hit the gym so I was quite happy about that.

Ok I have to get back to my notes again. Oh yes, if anyone is concerned about me after reading this, don’t worry I am doing fine. Other than having to adjust to certain changes, and dealing with some shit that is going to come really soon, I am fine. So relax but thanks for the concern though

Matan Out

4 day Marathon

I havent been receiving a lot of flak for lack of activity on my blog, cos like everyone else I have been busy with my final year examination and furthermore, I suppose some of my friends have been busy admiring the pictures of my blog that they appreciate the fact that you don’t have to scroll down too much to see these pictures.

Anyway as I was saying, exams are underway, and I just ended a 4 day marathon that started on Wednesday with TS1101E in the morning. By marathon I meant finishing a 4 day period of exams with one paper each day, which meant that I had no break in between any papers, and the moment I finished one, I had to start studying for the other. Thursday was my Asean Economies paper, which instead of being a paper to test one’s knowledge of the economic dimensions of the countries in South East Asia, ended up becoming a test of who was able to copy and write the most in a span of 2 hours. It was an open book exam and I thought the lecturer posed questions that was too similar to the tutorial ones. Well I hope the hand and wrist workout that day would pay off come results day. It was the same thing for The Malay Studies module on Friday on Malay Ideologies on Development, but that was a small class, and the questions were more analytical, so it needed more than just regurgitation. Finally the final stretch came in the form of a paper testing ones knowledge of Singapore’s history. It might sound easy but this was tricky for me because, me being the “smart one” somehow realized that “ hey I can choose a pass fail option for this paper” and so I did thinking that it would help me improve my cap since I had one less paper to put in effort for. Little did I know that to get a satisfactory grade, you needed to get above C+ for it. What made me panicked harder was that, a lot of my friends received unsatisfactory grades for some of their modules, and they had to repeat it this semester. I don’t have another semester, so I was really worried. The moment I finished my Friday paper, I went straight to the library and dug into my books. I stayed up all night in school and finished studying in time for a short 11/2 hour nap before my paper at 9. I thought I did fine, but you can never tell when it comes to exams like these. For all I know, I might even have to stay on another semester just to repeat one module. In this case, its better to get a D and affect your cap, than to see the word Unsatisfactory on my result slip, and foil all my post graduation plans. It looks like ill be worried till results day.

So that summed up my 4 day marathon which ended on Saturday at 11am. I felt a little liberated after that but I didn’t know what to do. The only rest I took in these 4 days were my runs, my trip to the gyms and the pool, a regime which I had to skip on Friday though, cos I thought graduating was greater priority than looking good. So on Saturday evening after I went home to sleep, and visit an ill cousin at the hospital, I finally got to do my 10 kilometer run, something I have bee telling myself to do for a long time but haven’t really got down to it. I don’t really know if its 10 kilometers cos I haven’t measured it and I don’t own a runners watch like vyniker that cam measure distances and speed. However the runs I usually do around my neighborhood that is, usually takes about 30 to 35 minutes, and this one I took just above an hour, so I named them simply as the 5 kilo one and the 10 kilo run respectively. I am aiming to do more runs nowadays cos I have been losing the weight and getting toned but somehow the flab at the midsection is not going away. So maybe its time to step up on the runs. I need to go to the gym more as well, cos somehow all this while I have only managed to be there thrice and at the most 4 times a week, and I feel its not enough. That is because I usually spend between 30 to 45 minutes in the gym, due to the limited time I have on my hands. But I used to think that It was more of the intesnsity than the amount of time I spend there, I usually use the school gym since its free and its most accessible since I spend a lot of my time in school. The school gym is not a very good gym cos it does not have a bench press, and the even if there is a bench press, its located at another place in the recreation centre, and now due to the exams, that room is closed. Anyway, my usual regime is to do
an upper body work out like the shoulder or the chest followed by an arm, back or an abs workout in between so there is less time spent resting. The results are quite obvious but it doesn’t stay on for very long. Maybe I am just not going to the gym enough.
As for my swim, I usually do 30 laps after my gym session, but that would mean I only swim when I go the gym, so maybe I am not doing enough of swimming as well. Last week I managed to exercise every day except Saturday, but this week I skipped Tuesday and Friday, and I only went to the gym and pool on Wednesday and Thursday. Monday I did my 5 kilo run and 3 sets of 10 chin ups, Saturday I did the 10 kilo one, with 3 sets of chin ups and crunches and yesterday I did the same thing only with a damn lousy 5 kilo run. I don’t know why, but I felt a pain in my chest area in the first 10 mins which was why I decided to slow it down. I have to step it up this week and in the subsequent weeks, since come Thursday exams will be over and holidays will be here. I haven’t been that disciplined when it comes to food as well, I eat bread for breakfast everyday, and although I plan to just eat chicken or tuna I would succumb to my hunger by telling myself that I need the carbohydrate to supplement my energy loss from working out. On top of that, my dinner would be damn late cos I stay up late in school to study and I get really hungry and eat very late at Fong Seng.
Today is Monday so I hope by blogging about it, I would be more conscious and stringent about my get fit regime but it didn’t really get a good start. Me and angelsoul planned to run two rounds at bedok reservoir and I remembered telling him that the first person to wake up was to call the other. But this morning my phone rang at 10(and that wasn’t him), and I heaved a great sigh at how ill disciplined I am.

I am in the school library now, which will close at 430 and I reached here at 130. I haven been doing much for my Money and Banking paper for the last two days, so I have to get started on it. Ill swim at 6 later and then visit the gym in Clementi cos the school gym is closed on public holidays. Then maybe ill go for a run. But then. I wont be spending enough time in my books cos I need to return my cousin’s car tonight. Oh yes my car’s not doing too well these days. Well we’ll see happens. Ill blog about it tomorrow. I hope.

Oh yes Vyniker, me and angelsoul watched Divergence yesterday, and I must say I hope your taste in women is not as bad as your taste in movies, because Divergence sucks, big time. I never though Aaron Kwok and Ekin Cheng would ever do a bad movie, but this movie really proved me wrong. It must be some stupid director trying to do some really intense psychological thriller but ended up making everyone confused instead. No offense.

Matan Out